Much Ado About Having Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It’s been a huge few days for homosexual-related first person narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual guides!

All of our first portion comes to you via xojane, the women’s internet site oriented right up by Jane Pratt (my personal champion)

(I’m really serious) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Titled ”
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this part is part of the “It Happened to Me” function which existed at JANE magazine and is made up mainly of writer/reader-submitted records of subjectively fascinating private experiences.

The unknown composer of this part, who I’ll phone “Ariel,” is truly bisexual, but because she conveniently provides hit tasks to the woman male associates but doesn’t go out or typically drop on females, this woman is, she explains, officially, just a ”

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.” (She additionally identifies herself as “mostly right” and “right” at different points during the story.) The woman reputation began, she describes, whenever the woman basic lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke known as Kelly at her university — went down on her for one hour. She la-la-la-loved it right after which immediately fled the scene fearing her very own failure to execute such fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a long duration.

maturelesbianpersonals.com

She produces:

“obviously, term got around that she and I also had installed and that I’d kept this lady holding, which had the peculiar effectation of offering me folk-heroine standing. Kelly called me personally a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I was one. It actually was like some kind of motion picture conceit where the character is actually seen erroneously as a celebrity and gets to drive in a limo and remain in an elegant resort due to it.”

This obviously totally worked out in her benefit, as she romped about in school starting up with many “aggressive kinds just who got down regarding indisputable fact that I became reluctant to try to let a girl touch myself.” Post-college, she moved on into internet, in which she promoted this lady comfortable condition and sometimes met with ladies for NSA sex.

Nearby the conclusion she problematically explains that when connecting with a woman she is not attracted to, she simply closes the woman eyes and envisions some other person “while [the lesbian] really does the woman thing.” Often it appears like she wants ladies to eat the woman away even though they are presumably much better at it than men are. She

could

drop in it but “I’m not dating all of them, and that I don’t think I would wish to have my fetish corrupted by caring for a person enough to hand back.”

I’dnot want to sit close to Ariel on an airplane, but her one-sided sexual experiences tend to be consensual and she is simply informing a genuine story of her existence, and so I’m not really certain things to model of this (and that I’m interested to understand what you will be making of it, if such a thing).

Next, on Jezebel (via
The Nice Guys Project
) we have
I hitched a Lesbian (and I also’m a man)
. The writer, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended to have crushes on the same type of lady: the celebrity baseball user, the soccer ahead, the swimmer. Some were lesbians. Some were not.” He questioned:

What is it that received myself oftentimes to women that happened to be same-sex attracted? It really was not the stereotypical male dream about what they certainly were carrying out between the sheets, and it definitely had nothing to do with a macho perception that i possibly could turn a gay lady straight.

In components, the part (which really does tred on some stereotypical soil) reminded me personally within this quote from

Girls Across The Street

,
that we quoted in a write-up about female manliness
:

“…if we had to help make an added generalization about lesbian style, it would be that the majority of you are incredibly attracted to ladies, gay or right, beautiful or otherwise not, just who seem just as if capable take care of themselves.”

The author at some point marries a lesbian just who presented as direct, in which he discovered their particular causing sex life is unsatisfactory. She would not give him strike jobs and failed to love entrance but joyfully accepted their offerings of cunnilingus. When their own sexless relationship ended in breakup and a drug relapse (for him), they are seemingly caring to their ex-wife’s strive instead labeling her as deceitful (as many with the commenters do):

She had result from a conventional household who were significantly embarrassed to possess a gay youngster. She may usually have recognized, but did the lady best to cover it, maybe hoping that the woman feelings might alter. Or she may have been like lots of women I’ve known, and simply found her true intimate identification after already becoming married to one.

What is actually redeeming about it essay to me that the writer’s conception of his or her own sex is certainly caused by free from the conventional masculine posturing one might count on in an item such as this (the guy also identifies himself as “femmy”). Possibly it really seems that way because males therefore rarely share desiring strong, athletic, effective females with short hair; but it is energizing nonetheless.

I don’t fault Hugo or Ariel for advising their stories, but it is well worth pointing out that both narratives seem to drive from the idea that room conduct will be the ultimate/only litmus examination of sex. Hugo and Courtney enjoy both’s organization, but Hugo alludes to Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a “warning sign” the guy skipped, whenever entrance is actually scarcely a solely heterosexual act (this indicates more inclined Courtney feared the intimacy of entrance with one she did not truly want is with, yet , who knows) and falling in love, in the long run, is approximately the vagina but it is additionally about your heart and it’s generally about having romantic feelings. Those romantic feelings are what converts a hook-up relationship into a relationship, all things considered.

Ultimately at

nerve.com

we’ve got a nice story directly through the pony’s mouth —
My First Time: Female. 17. Bay Area
. I believe this is basically the very first time the “first-time” series has included a lesbian.

Basically, in ninth quality, the author confessed to the woman best friend that she had lesbian emotions for her, and her companion reciprocated, and so they proceeded to carry on a stealth lesbian commitment plus they are however with each other now and the woman is a grown-up inside the army!

It appears they will have however to just take their connection out of the wardrobe, that will be a little puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: Looks like this tale had been authored before DADT was actually repealed, although it just adopted printed, therefore there is nothing puzzling taking place right here. This is simply straight-up nice atlanta divorce attorneys way, unequivocally.]

The main focus of piece (in fact it is really attractive and nice) is on the author’s breakthrough of
just what lesbian sex IS
:

We had never ever gone down on each different, and that I was actually sure that’s what we might meant as soon as we said we desired to make love. (today I realize there’s even more to fucking than slurping a girl’s pussy and phoning it a day.)

She concludes:

I’m sure that a lot of individuals disagree with what virginity means to a gay woman, but virginity is totally subjective, and it also actually depends upon the person you’re asking. Some people might say penetration must be involved, but I think it is around the individual dropping his or her virginity. Basically feel I missing my virginity, then goddammit, i’ve!

I have spent all of the morning and mid-day staring at wordpress, racking your brains on just what point i possibly could generate about any of these parts. I thought loads about why we’d never ever submit “I became a Lesbian Pillow Princess” on this internet site but can’t work through the reason that I would worry 50 of you would vow never to get back here plus the remaning many-thousands of you would fight together about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure before the heat loss of the world. I pictured some one publishing “I became a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to all of us via e-mail after which I envisioned the article conference in which we might get to that story and all of state “NO” at the same time.

In searching for a spot to gleam from all of these stories, I tried to determine what you would think or state, and I are unable to, and I would you like to complete this post as quickly as possible to speed up the process of myself learning what you believe about these tales. Yup, the very first time since beginning Autostraddle, I’ve had gotten not a clue what to state about something. Very perhaps I should just ask you to answer — what is actually your response to these parts?